q. Something you have to forgive someone for.
a. This one is a real toughy for me because I am not ready to forgive "those" who need to be forgiven. It's something I like to put in the back of my mind and not think about or talk about. There is more than one person I probably need to forgive for doing something to me or hurting me. I just don't have the strength to let it all out. Blahhhh. :/
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April 19, 2011
April 18, 2011
Day 3 - Forgivness.
q. Something you have to forgive yourself for.
a. Everything in my past. The stupid decisions I made. I have to forgive myself for those things, even though they still haunt me. There's not even a specific thing I can think of because there were SO many stupid decisions made in my life. But, there is no one to blame but myself. Therefore I have to forgive myself. And I DO forgive myself, because I know that is NOT who I am and my past should NOT sum up who I am or who I have become. One can only grow stronger from the mistakes they have made. I forgive myself because I KNOW I am not that same person. And I AM stronger, not only for myself, but for my two beautiful children.
ps. This 30 Days of Truth crap is harder than I thought! lol
a. Everything in my past. The stupid decisions I made. I have to forgive myself for those things, even though they still haunt me. There's not even a specific thing I can think of because there were SO many stupid decisions made in my life. But, there is no one to blame but myself. Therefore I have to forgive myself. And I DO forgive myself, because I know that is NOT who I am and my past should NOT sum up who I am or who I have become. One can only grow stronger from the mistakes they have made. I forgive myself because I KNOW I am not that same person. And I AM stronger, not only for myself, but for my two beautiful children.
ps. This 30 Days of Truth crap is harder than I thought! lol
April 7, 2011
New Beginings...hopefully!
I'm hoping the future is better to me than the past and present. I know I'm not a perfect person, but do I really deserve all the crap I catch?? Seriously.
This is what my future will hold me for [if I keep up the motivation; and I WILL] :
This is what my future will hold me for [if I keep up the motivation; and I WILL] :
- Our first family vaca to Orlando,FL! (I know this one will take effect...we are leaving tomorrow! lol)
- Start AND finish college. For whatever. (I'm leaning on Respiratory Care)
- Find a decent job to hold me over while I'm in school.
- Lose weight. And I'm serious this time. Good Golly.
- Start to put my creative thinking into action!
*Day 2* Love...
q. Something you love about yourself.
a. Hmmmm. As sad as this sounds, day 1 was easier for me. But here goes nothing...I love my creativeness. It usually just goes on in my head and never actually gets put to use, but I think that will come to an end soon! I love planning little parties; right down to the outfits lol. I love coming up with ideas to start a "mini business". It would be awesome to actually get to do something I LOVE and make money doing it:) I love scrapbooking and baking and decorating. I just wish I could put more use to my "gift". Someday I will. But right now, the two precious babies I have are keeping me busy as it is:)
a. Hmmmm. As sad as this sounds, day 1 was easier for me. But here goes nothing...I love my creativeness. It usually just goes on in my head and never actually gets put to use, but I think that will come to an end soon! I love planning little parties; right down to the outfits lol. I love coming up with ideas to start a "mini business". It would be awesome to actually get to do something I LOVE and make money doing it:) I love scrapbooking and baking and decorating. I just wish I could put more use to my "gift". Someday I will. But right now, the two precious babies I have are keeping me busy as it is:)
April 6, 2011
30 Days of Truth *Day 1*
q. Something you hate about yourself.
a. Hate. That's such a strong word. BUT, if it must be used to describe something about me, I'm going to use it towards my self consciousness. I am so critical about myself. I feel like I have "let myself go" after I had kids and got married. I'm not used to this "new me". I'm not used to these "new curves"; and lumps. lol. And frankly, I don't really WANT to get used to them. I want to get rid of them! And I swear I will.
I used to light up the room with my outgoing personality. Now I like to stand aside. I am really bad about comparing myself to other girls. I hate that. I'm working on it though.
So there ya go...something I hate about myself.
a. Hate. That's such a strong word. BUT, if it must be used to describe something about me, I'm going to use it towards my self consciousness. I am so critical about myself. I feel like I have "let myself go" after I had kids and got married. I'm not used to this "new me". I'm not used to these "new curves"; and lumps. lol. And frankly, I don't really WANT to get used to them. I want to get rid of them! And I swear I will.
I used to light up the room with my outgoing personality. Now I like to stand aside. I am really bad about comparing myself to other girls. I hate that. I'm working on it though.
So there ya go...something I hate about myself.
April 5, 2011
Throw some glitter....
Sounds fun, so I'm gonna do some! I'm going to do 30 Days of Truth and 30 Days of Lists. I got this idea from my online friend's blog :) She's pretty internet awesome lol.
Today is my little brother's 18th birthday. I can't believe he is 18. It seems like yesterday when we were searching for Dinosaur bones in our neighbor's yard or racing our bikes down Gran's neighborhood. Good times:) We had dinner for him at Gran's house tonight, and during the drive down there, me and the kids listened to Ke$ha all the way there:) Kenzie loves "Blow". She shouts "this place about to Blow-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ow" and "Go insane! Go insane! Throw some glitter, make it rain." :) I love that girl! She loves music. She gets that from me and Doug. But I'm just glad she loves all kinds of music from Guns and Roses' "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Be looking for her on American Idol Season 24:)
Today is my little brother's 18th birthday. I can't believe he is 18. It seems like yesterday when we were searching for Dinosaur bones in our neighbor's yard or racing our bikes down Gran's neighborhood. Good times:) We had dinner for him at Gran's house tonight, and during the drive down there, me and the kids listened to Ke$ha all the way there:) Kenzie loves "Blow". She shouts "this place about to Blow-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ow" and "Go insane! Go insane! Throw some glitter, make it rain." :) I love that girl! She loves music. She gets that from me and Doug. But I'm just glad she loves all kinds of music from Guns and Roses' "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Be looking for her on American Idol Season 24:)
Here's to you Kenz-co.
April 3, 2011
Sick and Tired of Worrying
I am so ready for things to get better. I'm ready to not have to worry about the little things. I'm ready to start school in the fall and get an education so I won't have to keep looking for GOOD jobs all the time.I'm ready to have a HOME where I don't have to worry about where we will have to go when the lease runs up. I want my kids to have a wonderful life. I don't want them to follow in my footsteps. I want them to have so much better.
UGHHH. I'm just so mad/upset/worried/crazy right now. Just when things were going pretty good, some BS has to blow up.
BUT, we are going to Orlando this weekend for a whole week. I NEED a vacation. But I know I will still be worrying about everything while I'm there. I just want a break. From reality. But I guess that's all part of "growing up".
Just pray, Lauren. Just pray.
UGHHH. I'm just so mad/upset/worried/crazy right now. Just when things were going pretty good, some BS has to blow up.
BUT, we are going to Orlando this weekend for a whole week. I NEED a vacation. But I know I will still be worrying about everything while I'm there. I just want a break. From reality. But I guess that's all part of "growing up".
Just pray, Lauren. Just pray.
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