Back at it.

Well, Doug and I started Shaun T's T25 workout yesterday. #dead

We are determined. We can do this. I know we can. As long as I can get past the crying and sweating and dying part. And the fact that my back hurts like everyday doesn't help any. It's so easy for me to give up all the time. But this time, I've got Doug backing me up and I'm asking God to help me through this. I started reading The Daniel Plan and I couldn't put it down. I only read the first chapter, but I will be buying it on the Kindle ASAP. It's amazing.

We each took "before" pictures and if that wasn't an eye opener, I don't know what else is. But I can't wait to show those embarrassing pictures when comparing them to our "after" photos!

Now I just need to get motivated to wake up early to workout since that's the only time Doug and I can do it together.

#NoMoreScales

Want to know my main cause in "failing" in my weight loss journey?

THE. SCALE.

I hate it. I hate that thing that puts those God awful numbers in my face and screams, "HAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SLIPPING UP ONE TIME THIS WEEK!".

No. No, scale. I refuse to let you turn me into an ugly number. I refuse to look at myself by YOUR standards. I'm putting you in hiding for a long time.

Some of you may not understand what I'm talking about. But some of you live like this, just like I do. You wake up, you weigh. You eat breakfast, you weigh. You pee, you weigh. You poop (lol), you weigh. You work out, and immediately weigh. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of relying on a machine to point me towards happiness. I'm tired of seeing "bad" numbers and just want to give up.

I am NOT a number on a scale. And I refuse to let it change my attitude.

So from today on, it's baby steps and ZERO weighing! I want to focus on feeling better, having better skin, and not being so tired all the time. I'm going to set mini goals for myself. And I want you to join me! It's a proven fact that people will more likely lose weight with a support team! So who's with me?

My first goal is to drink ONLY water for 10 days. Well, besides my one cup of coffee in the morning lol. Duh.

If you are going to do this mini goal with me, I would LOVE to hear about it! Tag me on Instagram; Tweet me; Facebook me. I don't care!! I just want to see some motivators! :) Use the hashtag #NoMoreScales so I can see!
 

Weigh In Wednesday

I had lost 2 more pounds since last week, but then I made mistakes. I was doing really good all week until yesterday. Yesterday I ate a cookie and drank two Sprites. I haven't had soda in like 3 weeks. Blahhh. And for dinner I had two helpings of taco salad. I just overate and made myself miserable. Lesson learned though. Because from yesterday morning to this morning, I'd gained back 2 pounds. And I feel bloated. Boooooo. I've been off my game for counting calories, too. I guess this is just my "off" week. 

Here's to starting new. Again. lol!

Stats

Height: 5'6"

Starting weight: 220 lbs

Last week's weigh in: 212 lbs

Current weight: 212 lbs

Goal weight: 160 lbs.

Follow me on MyFitnessPal

Here's some motivational mojo!

{source}

Weigh In Wednesday

First off, I have a question. The scale at my doctor's office and the Wii Fit board says I'm 10 pounds lighter than the scale in my bathroom. Which one do I go by?! I'm thinking the Wii board, for obvious reasons haha! But seriously? Which one?

On to the weigh in part.

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn.

I've been slacking in the calorie counting department, but I've not been eating as much, also. The past two nights, I've stopped myself before I'm miserable. Today I've been drinking water with lemon up until supper time. I had to have some tea. 

So as of today, I weigh 212 pounds (according to my bathroom scale). That's 8 pounds down from where I started. I'd say that's progress. 

I mentioned the other day that I bought Wii Fit. So I'm going to record my progress with that soon. 

Stats

Height: 5'6"

Starting Weight: 220 lbs

Current Weight: 212 lbs

Goal Weight: 160 lbs

Follow me on My Fitness Pal!

And here's today's motivational mojo:

{source}

Linking up here:

Frustrated. {Weight Loss Journey}

I’m just blah right now. I’ve eaten crappy for the past week and I HATE how that makes me feel. It’s my fault I guess, but there really wasn’t much else to cook/eat in the house.

I’m also frustrated because I feel so overwhelmed and alone through this weight loss journey of mine. I feel overwhelmed because there is just so much out there in the “Eating Clean” world and I don’t even know where to start. Also, I don’t like spending hours in the kitchen cooking up meals. Easy is better for my life right now. I know that in order to eat healthy, I need to plan things out, which is fine by me because I’m a list maker & organizer. I just need help getting started.

I feel alone through this journey because everyone around me eats what they want. We’re Southern. We like fried stuff and sweet tea and pie. I know everyone supports me and my journey to become healthy, but I still feel trapped. Like what do I do at a get-together? I’m like the only one who eats salad, so I know there won’t be any of that. I feel stupid eating before we go somewhere. Plus, I LOVE food. It’s hard for me to turn down chips & dip or a hot dog or a cupcake at my kid’s birthday party. My husband is doing this journey with me, but he’s not doing it like I want to be doing it. He makes it really hard to diet. He doesn’t like super healthy stuff. Not all the time. And the kids won’t eat spinach or most vegetables. We can’t afford to cook different foods for everyone at each meal. So I feel like I have to just give up trying to eat "clean". I feel if I can’t do this the way I want to do it, what’s the point?

I also have back problems since giving birth, so I can’t do hard core exercises. I really injured it last time I did 30 Day Shred. We live in the country so I don’t have a neighborhood to walk around in. Our local park is all the way on the other side of town, so there’s a ton of gas I’d have to use to drive to the walking track. I don’t know what to do.
I need a support team. I need a walking partner. I need to get more organized. I just feel hopeless in this journey right now.

We bought Wii Fit and will be starting that today. It's low impact so I don't think I will see results super fast, but at least it won't send me to the doctor in pain again. I just have to stick with it.

I was doing so good when we first decided to get healthy. I lost 5 pounds by counting calories and drinking more water. But I swear, I eat one wrong thing and I’ve gained 2 pounds back. That’s my life ya’ll. I’ve struggled with weight as long as I can remember. The only time I was in shape and healthy was my Junior year in high school.

So there’s all my frustrations laid out. *sigh* Am I crazy for getting stressed?

If you have any pointers or tips or questions or whatever, email me! I would love to hear success stories or motivational tips or anything you got!

New Beginnings

I’m going to hold all of you accountable for keeping me motivated. I’m beginning a new journey with myself (and my husband), to be healthy. To exercise, eat nutritiously, and be better examples for our children. We’ve tried this before in the past. Actually, we started our journey in January of this year. Doug lost 20 pounds and I lost about 12. And then we just sort of gave up.

The above picture was taken when Doug and I first got together. I was also about 2 months pregnant. This was 5.5 years ago.

The below picture was taken in October of 2011.
I look pregnant.
This is also 50+ pounds heavier for me.

And this is me now:

And this is actually a “good” angle, so it doesn’t look as bad as it is. Or maybe I’m just so hard on myself. Either way, I’ve gained 60 pounds since 2007 and I want to lose it. Forever. I don’t want to go back to this.

 

It’s HARD to change your lifestyle. It really is. It’s so much easier to just order pizza or throw together a huge thing of cheesy spaghetti or just sit around on the couch all day. It’s much much much easier to do those things, but the feeling you get AFTER you do those things? Not great at all.

I woke up one morning this week and decided I was done. I’m done hating myself. I’m done struggling with my body image. I’m done being lazy and unhealthy and slowly climbing UP the scale. I’m 24 years old. I’m not going to ever be 24 again. I am going to make the best of my life, not only for my sake, but for my children’s and husband’s. I want to be an example to everyone. I want to be someone’s motivation.

You know that feeling when you feel like you look amazing, and you’re feeling great about going somewhere because you think you look good…..and then you see pictures of yourself? Yeah. This happens to me every time I get “dressed up” to go somewhere. I feel good looking in the mirror but then someone takes a picture and I’m like, whoa. No ma’am. If you don’t know that feeling, good for you. I hope to get to that point some day. I want to be able to look at a picture of myself and not be so hard on myself. I’m my own worst enemy.

Doug has a family history that takes hours to go over at the doctor’s office. He literally answers yes to almost every medical family history question. I don’t want him to have to go through all that. It’s as simple as changing our diet and getting off our asses. I don’t want to lose my best friend. Ever. Some days I wish he would go away for a couple of hours lol, but I don’t want to be without him. I don’t want my children to be without a father. I don’t want an empty seat at the dinner table. I don’t want Kenzie to have to walk down the aisle without her Daddy. I want my family to be healthy. I want my family to be happy. And I think both of those things coincide. Without health, there’s not much to be happy about.

And so we begin.

I’m new to all of this. I have never had the mind set like I do right now. I’ve been dieting my whole life, but that’s a whole other blog post in itself (you could read this similar one to get a little background).  I tried 30 Day Shred, and did SO good for about a week straight, but then I got shin splints. They were so bad I could barely walk right. I was so frustrated. And then I just hit bottom. I gave up. It was so much easier to just give up. That’s what I do. I give up on everything. But not this time.

So here’s what I’m going to be starting out doing:

1. Drink water all day, errday. I used to hate water. Like it would make be gag. I stuck with sweet tea and Dr. Pepper. Well, pat on my back…..I haven’t had any soda for like a week now! AND I’ve figured out how to drink water: Add fruit! I love me some fresh lemon water and I’ve also thrown a few frozen blueberries with a splash of lemon juice in…oh my good gracious. It’s SO good! And sweet tea will be a treat for me now. Like only when we go out to eat or something (because that’s really rare, too).

2. Start 30 Day Shred again. I’m thinking five days a week, then walking/running on Saturdays, resting on Sundays. I’m hoping this won’t be too much. I used to love running back in high school. It just came naturally. I could run and run. I just don’t have anywhere to run around here. The park is too far to drive everyday and we don’t live in a neighborhood. I guess I can just look like a maniac and run around our gravel circle drive LOL! Hey, at least I’m trying people! ;)

3. Eat healthy. I’ve been trying to find some healthy recipes on Pinterest that will suit the whole family. I’ve got some picky eaters on my hands so this is difficult sometimes. But Doug is being open minded and that’s a start!

I would love pointers. Or motivation. Or words of kindness. Or success stories. Or if you are going through the same life changes I am, I would LOVE to talk to you! Email me, tweet me, whatevs!

Love YOU.

I write this post to tell you all how beautiful YOU are, regardless of what you may think or what other people may say.

 I'm also writing this for myself. And for my daughter. 

Because we are living in a cruel, vicious world where a size 8 is fat but a size zero is sickly.

The scale is our enemy.

Food is our weakness.

Society is the devil.

Your body is your own. No one else has one just like you.

MY body is my own. And it's the only one I will ever have.

So why do I hate it so much?

Why do we give ourselves so much grief over a number on a scale or the size of our jeans?

Guess what?

I'm fat.

I'm 5'6" and I weight 220 pounds.
I wear a size 16.

 I have stretch marks on my stomach and boobs.

I have love handles.

I have two chins sometimes.

My stomach looks like an 80 year old woman's stomach.

My boobs aren't perky anymore.

My thighs have cellulite.

But you know what else?

I'm HAPPY.

I'm happy with my life.
I consider myself to be pretty awesome.

I love food and wine and cooking and baking.

My husband still loves me the same as he did when I was a size 9.

My children think I'm beautiful.

My family loves me.
My friends don't judge me.

I know that I will never ever have the same body I did before I gave birth.

But from my "not-so-perky" boobs, came milk to feed my children.

From my larger hips, I was able to push out two babies.

From my stretch marks, I let my body grow and stretch in order to hold and carry healthy babies to full term.

My body was their home.

  And for this sacrifice, I gave life to two precious children. 

 

So from this day forward, I will be happy with myself.

And you will be, too.

You are beautiful in your skin.

I hope to raise my daughter to be so self confident, that she will never compare herself to others.

Because I know for a fact, my Kenzie is perfect just the way she is.

And I'm sure my Momma and Daddy wanted the same thing for me.

I just wish I would have realized that before now.

So here's to a new beginning.

 I'm not going to focus on losing weight anymore, or trying to be "tiny" like I thought I wanted.

I'm going to focus on living healthier.

But I will STILL eat that damn piece of chocolate cupcake if I want.

Will YOU choose happiness?