Lately, I have had no energy. I feel like crap. All I want to do is sleep.
I haven’t done the dishes or laundry in about a week now. I don’t want to do anything. I’m tired.
I’m tired of feeling like everything (besides the bills) is on me.
I’m tired of being tired. A 22 year old woman should not feel this way.
And even sometimes, when I am trying to sleep because I’m so tired, I can’t. My mind won’t let me. And it’s getting really old.
I’ve been putting off making a doctor’s appointment because I didn’t want to be “that” type of person. Someone who can’t take care of herself or her house or her kids.
I don’t want to have to rely on medicine to make me happy.
I hate asking for help. I feel that if I have kids, then they are MY responsibility. That even if I am on my death bed, I have to take care of them. I feel that if I ask for help, I am incapable of being a good mother.
And that is my biggest fear: being a bad mom.
I want everything for my children. I want them to great life. I want them to make the right choices in life, better than I did.
I don’t hate my life.
Even though sometimes I feel like I’m living my life on repeat; the same routine every. single. day. Some days I just want to pack up and take a mini vacation, but I know that’s not possible right now.
I don’t live a home with my parents. I have a husband who takes the financial responsibility. So I don’t always get what I want. And that’s okay with me. I would rather work for what I get, then be given to me all the time.
I think sometimes I’m just not the same person I used to be. I want to be. I’m just not.