Real Talk, with coffee.

If you were at my house this morning, I would offer you a cup (or two) of coffee and we would talk.

I would apologize about the way I look. I haven't showered since Monday and my hair hasn't been washed since Saturday night. I would also apologize for not wearing a bra. Or anything but my pajamas.

I would apologize about the house. There are blankets thrown all over the living room floor. I haven't vacuumed in a couple of days. There are piles of clothes in corners of the house that need to be put away. The laundry room/my bedroom/and the bathroom hamper are filled with clothes that need to be washed.

And if I'm being honest here, I haven't even cooked a meal in about a week. We've either grabbed something to eat in town or I've warmed up Spaghetti-O's. #Momoftheyear

I haven't done any observations at the Preschool this week because almost everyone in this house has been sick. Doug had a stomach bug Sunday. I had it that night, which equals barely any sleep. Tucker started running a fever yesterday and got up a few times last night.

I'm tired ya'll. I'm physically and mentally drained from all energy. Yesterday I cried because I literally sat in front of my laptop at the kitchen table for 8 hours. I'm not even kidding. I was just catching up on assignments + taking a math quiz (which I failed), and taking notes. I cried because I was tired. I cried because I felt like I was neglecting my kids, even though I kept giving them activities to do. I cried because that was the only thing that felt right. I literally thought I was going to pass out from just being so tired and stressed.

Yesterday, I couldn't even remember if I had eaten lunch.

And I'm telling you all this, not to "get attention" or whatever. I just like to keep it real.

I could literally bonk myself in the head for quitting college when I got pregnant with Kenzie. I didn't listen to anyone who said going back to school would be hard when you had a child. But silly me waited until I had TWO kids to go back to school.

I know this will all pay off in the long run. I know I will be so proud of myself for graduating with a degree. I know I will jump for joy when I finally get a good paying job in a career that I love. But right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to balance being a wife/mother/student/housekeeper.

And it's weird. Some days, I'm really on top of my game. The house is spotless, my homework is finished by noon, and everyone is happy happy happy. But then there are days (or weeks, in this case) where I just feel like I'm failing. I feel like I'm failing myself, my kids, my husband, and my friends/family. I'm not taking care of myself like I should, and I think that's the problem. I need to take time for myself, but I don't HAVE time. And even if I did have time, I wouldn't have time BY myself. My kids, who I love more than this whole world, are always with me. 24/7.

This weekend is my anniversary, so I'm hoping I get a break. I think a mini getaway is just what I need.

Working On Myself.

Along with trying to eat right and get healthy for my body, I am also trying to work on becoming a better person emotionally.

I’m human. I have flaws. I switch emotions like a light switch. And since I’m a woman, those emotions are multiplied about five gazillion times. AND since I’m a mother, those emotions and hormones multiplied times infinity. In conclusion, I’m a wee bit of an emotional train wreck. And by train wreck, I mean the B word. bitch.

First of all, I would like to say I’m sorry to anyone who I’ve hurt because of my emotional craziness. Sometimes I say things that I shouldn’t say out loud. Most of the time I say those things because I’m angry. So I’m sorry for that. I’m trying to change. And in order to change, I have to look at WHY I act the way I do.

#1. I have a hard time feeling happy for people. I think most of the reason is because of jealousy. I’m jealous of the blogger who has won 56 giveaways in the past week. I’m jealous of the girls rocking all these cute boutique clothes that I can’t afford. I’m jealous of pretty much anyone who has it “easier” than I do because I want things and I want them now. Hey, I’m working on it.

#2. Sometimes people just get on my nerves and I tell them and then they don’t like me. So there’s that. I’m working on not letting my nerves “got on”.

#3. There’s a certain time of the month where I just shouldn’t be allowed to have any type of communication with the outside world. Girls, you know what I mean.

#4. Sometimes I turn into a six year old and I get mad because someone “copies” me. Like, I don’t mind when you get “ideas” from me because let’s be honest, sometimes I have these super amazing ideas. Not. But I hate when someone’s all “I love your owl tattoo! I’m gonna get one JUST LIKE IT in the same EXACT spot!!”. No, rude. No you are not. Finding “inspiration” in someone is perfectly acceptable. But copying is a no no.
This was just a made up example. I would be extremely pissed if someone actually said that to me.

So there you have it. Four reasons why I can be the big “b” word. And I’m working on it. I seriously am. I’m trying to help out other bloggers when I can, even if I get nothing from it. I’ve been keeping rude comments to myself….mostly. AND I gave a sandwich to a homeless man the other day.

I know, I know. Don’t be too shocked. Tone it down a bit girls, k?

 

So here’s to being nice!

Randomness. Confidence. & Bravery.

Let me just start off by saying thank you. Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. It's comments like those that make me realize why I continue to blog...because I'm not alone and there are other people out there who can relate to me or that care enough to take the time out of their day to tell me everything will be okay. 

Today, I'm showing you guys my confidence. 

It's a rare thing. But lately, I've been feeling much better about myself, my life, my future. Everything.

Oh, and this dress? $12 on jcp.com from a gift card from Christmas.

The boots? Also a Christmas gift (that I picked out myself haha).

The necklace was also a gift from the best friend.

See? You CAN look cute while poor!! (As long as you have awesome, gift-giving family/friends! haha!)

These pictures were taken by my fabulous four year old photographer, who also had to get in on the action.

She's a future blogger for sure. 

And she's also a fearless little daredevil.....

Yes, that's a zip-line. She did it like 12 times. She loved it. I tried it and fell on my ars. And I'm still hurting. Damn you gravity.

Oh and here's some pics from Friday night. I went out with JUST my girls. It was fun and strange, being that I've been married for almost 5 years and go everywhere with Doug. But we had a blast. How can you not with free draft beer all night?

Behind Tennessee Honey.

Come sit down and have a cup of coffee with me and let me re-introduce myself.

Since I've gotten some newbies around here (thank you, thank you, thank you!), I decided ya'll might want to know more about me.

I could be wrong.

Regardless, today you will learn who is behind Tennessee Honey. 

I'll start with the basics.

My name is Lauren. I'm 24 years old. I've been married for 4.5 years. I have a 4.5 year old daughter, Kenzie Lane, and a 2.5 year old son, Tucker James.

I also have a Doxie, named Dobby. He's special.

I'm a full time student, going for my Associates degree in Early Childhood Education.

I'm also a stay-at-home-mom.

Born and raised in West Tennessee.

I love my friends, and those who are there for me.

I drink coffee at least twice a day.

I prefer tequila.

I love anything that glitters.

I'm obsessed with owls and anything vintage.

I'm constantly struggling with my self image and especially my weight.

I'm scared of the dark.

I'm a nerd at heart.
Without music, my life would be so drab.
I'm obsessed with anything Superhero related, but my favorite is Wolverine.

I love books. I read mostly Young Adult dystopian/paranormal-romance stuff.

I love anything Disney, Harry Potter, and Walking Dead.

I dream of going to Ireland.

I love road trips//mini vacations.
I love tattoos, but finding places to hide them is getting hard. (Darn you uptight people who don't like tattoos on teachers!!)
I play video games.
I prefer action movies over romance movies.
Sometimes I bust into random song and dance.
My husband says I should be more girly. I say I like to keep my awesomeness they way it is.

I love to take pictures and act like I'm a photographer. ha, I'm not.

Did you learn anything new or interesting?

Doubt it.

;)

Music is my life.

All the times when I'm alone, which is VERY rare, I'm usually driving. And what do most people do while driving?

They mostly likely are listening to music.

And that's what I do.
There's just something about driving down a lonely highway while listening to the songs that take you away.

I honestly believe without music, my life would be a total wreck and I would be sitting pretty like Mona in the looney bin.

You know....Cray cray Mona from Pretty Little Liars...

Music gets me. 

Music is my poetry.
 

It's the way I see things. It's the way I bring back memories.

Sometimes I find songs that are just so perfect.

I listen to them and forget about everything; pretend I'm somewhere else.

And sometimes I find the songs that tell the story of my life and past.

Those are the songs that make me remember all the bad.

Music is a huge part of my life.

And I love to sing. And play piano.

If you love listening to beautiful music, I've made a list of some you should listen to.

Note: These are NOT popular songs, nor will they make you want to shake ya bootay. 

These songs have powerful melodies and meaning. Well, to me anyways...

Headphones are my escape.
Music is my life.

How about you? Have any great songs that you want to share? I'm always looking for new ones!

Coffee Talk

Today I'm linking up with Natalie from 23seventeen for Coffee Talk #17.

I just recently found her blog the other day (and I can't remember where from!) but I instantly fell in love with it!

1. Would you rather have a pen pal or an email pal?
I would like to say pen pal, because who doesn't love getting personal stuff in the mail? But I know I'd be a horrible pen pal. I hardly ever get anything to the post office on time.

2. What are you wearing at this exact moment?
One of my husband's old pull-overs, black comfy pants, and mix-matched socks. Duh.
I'm such a fashionista.

3. When you are sick, how do you handle it?
If I'm super sick, I usually think I'm dying and end up being super dramatic. I admit that.
I also go into child mode and want my Gran to come take care of me.

4. I am _____________ [fill in the blank].
Drinking coffee, watching Scooby Doo (for the 438904230 time), and wanting to go back to bed because this rainy weather makes me sleepy.

5. Movie you are excited to see this year????
Oh man. 2013 is going to be THE year for awesome.

 

I kind of like movies....can you tell?

Guess What?

Hey ya'll.

Do you know what today is?

Yep.

Big 24 here!

Only 6 more to go till I'm the HUGE 3-0. 

Oh Lawd Jesus.

I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for all of my followers and the relationships I've found through blogging! There's some pretty awesome people out there and I'm glad to know a few of them! 

I'm going out to dinner with friends tonight, so I'm sure that will be tomorrow's post ;)

The ABC’s of ME

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A. age:  22.5=

B. bed size:  Queen as for right now...but most of the time that's not big enough lol. We NEED a King size!

C. chore you hate: washing dishes!! This house was not equipped with one but we are looking to buy a portable one.

D. dogs:  Dogs? what the? ok......I like dogs. Dogs are nice. Dogs say "woof". ]]]]haha jk:) I do love dogs, though! We have a pretty doggie named Lucy who is a full blooded mutt and is one of the best dogs we've had! But my fav breed of dog is hands down a chihuahua! =

E. essential start to your day:  Peeing. Then squirting contact solution in my eyes because I never take my contacts out :/

F. favorite color:  pink! and turquoise!

G. gold or silver:  silver for sure - as in jewelry. But I like gold decor.

H. height: I THOUGHT I was 5'6 then my husband pulled out his measuring tape the other day and I'm 5'5...

I. instruments you play:  I can play piano/keyboard by ear. I don't know how to read music but if I listen to a song, I can pretty much play it.

J. job title: Mommy. Babysitter. Awesome person in general. =

K. kids:  Kenzie Lane (3) and Tucker James (1)

L. live: in a old house, in the country,  in West Tennessee

M. maiden name:  Cupples. And it's A LOT easier to say than my married name - Loeffel. Its pronounced Leffull. The "o" is silent....blahh.

N. nicknames:  I used to be LC in highschool=

O. overnight hospital stays: When I gave birth to my children. I've had to stay overnight with Tucker twice.

P. pet peeve: when people say they will do something and they don't.

Q. quote:  "Everything happens for a reason"

R. righty or lefty:  Righty-tidy

S. siblings:  I have an 18 year old brother, Hayden; a 4 year old half brother, Ryder; and a 6 year old half sister, Olivia=

T. time you wake up: When I'm babysitting, I get up at 6:45am. When it's just me and the kids, I wake up around 8:30 or 9. When the kids aren't here and I get a chance to sleep in, I wake up around 9am or 3pm....depending on what happened the night before haha!!

U. university attended:  I am attending a community college that has a small campus here in town! After I'm done with my basics there, I will transfer to The University of TN at Martin for Teaching K-6 =

V. vegetables you dislike: Brussel sprouts. They smell like dook.

W. what makes you run late: The kids. Me not waking up in time. My husband rushing me (that just makes me mad lol).

X. x-rays you’ve had: Teeth. And of my back when I pulled a muscle.

Y. yummy food:  Pizza!! I could eat pizza everyday. And Mexican food - mmmmmm!

Z. zoo animal favorite:  Pandas. So cute=

10 Day You Challenge (#7)

(7) Wants

 #1 ]

-I totally want a body like this $

#2 ]

-I'm over the Nissan Murano. I want a Ford Edge!

#3 ]

-front porch swing. Will get one soon!

#4 ]

-I don't necessarily want THIS camera, but I would love something similar *wink wink* $ 

#5 ]

-some cowgirl boots! I can't believe I don't own a pair. I'm not a country girl but I AM southern. So these are a must in my book$

#6 ]

-a craft room! And I'm pretty sure I could totally do this in our huge hallway closet/pantry...if I can talk the hubby into it!

#7 ]

-a kitty kitty$ I love cats. They are so funny lol. We need one for the outside anyways to keep away creepy crawlies. And Lucy (our dog) needs a friend!