July 31, 2011

Words of Wisdom:)

Don't worry about what other people think. Do what you know is best.
Don't fret on the things you don't have. Be glad for the things you do have.
Don't make everything a competition. Start competing with yourself. 
When things go wrong, remember when they were right.
If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will either.
 Everything happens for a reason, whether that reason presents itself now, or 10 years down the road.
Don't worry; Be happy.

and Let It Be.

July 27, 2011

Oh, How Pinteresting Wednesday

Yayy! A new blog hop! And it's something I'm obsessed with! Pinterest! If you don't have one, you need one. I'm telling you. You need it. Unless, of course, you have housework or what not to do; because you would never do any of those things when you find out how awesome Pinterest is:)

Be sure to link back up at The Vintage Apple!
 diy madness

i heart quotes


July 26, 2011

Nobody Knows....

lol this title makes me think of when Princess Vespa (from SpaceBalls) was in jail singing "Nobody Knows" like a man lol. Has anyone but me seen that movie? haha! 
ok randomness over...on to ranting.

Sometimes I feel like nobody thinks I can do anything. I feel like my thoughts/ideas/wishes are just tossed aside because someone thinks I'm not capable of doing something. I can see as to why someone might think that though, because I'm never given a chance to show what I can do! Sometimes I wish I could just press pause, long enough to shut everyone else up, work my magic, then say "ha. I told you I could do it." 
I also feel like no one cares. I feel like I have no moral support. What I love to do may not be what others love to do, but that's what makes diversity so beautiful. No one is alike. And if we were, that would be super boring. 

end of rant?
back to Pintrest...

July 25, 2011

Songs of my past..

You know how you listen to a song, and it can take you back to a moment and you can remember everything about that moment - what you were wearing, where you were, what you were feeling, who you were with. Music means a lot to me. And it brings back memories. Some good, some I don't want to remember. Some I wish I could go back in time to. And some that just speaks of my life in general.

Name by Goo Goo Dolls - "She grew up way too fast and there's nothing to believe. Re-runs all become our history."

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman - This used to play all the time when I was working at O'Charley's. I had so many memories there. It was like my home and family. I grew up there, pretty much.

Same Mistake by James Blunt - I first heard this from the movie "P.S I Love You". It has some meaningful lyrics. "I'm not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice."

If Your Gonna Leave by Emerson Hart - I love this song. It speaks to a lot of my relationships in my past. "So If you're gonna Leave,Ya you better get going. Cause I ain't wasting no more time; What ya did and what ya didn't."

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls - I played this song over and over when something happened in my past. I'm not sure why. "And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later it's over. I just don't wanna miss you tonight."

Sweet Child of Mine by Guns n Roses - This reminds me of my best friend Brittney who past away in March of 2008 at the age of 20. I loved her. She was my best friend who always stood up for me. She was strong willed and didn't take crap from anyone. She loved this song, too. She had an amazing voice. I miss her so much. I think about her a lot.

Lips of an Angel by Hinder - This was my Junior year of high school. My favorite year ever. The one filled with the most memories. The best memories. If I could pick any year of my life to go back to, it would be this one.

Lightning Crashes by Live - I'm a 90's fan nerd. This song is very meaningful.

You Make Me Completely Miserable by Lit - relationships lol.

Tattoo by Jordin Sparks - I listened to this all the time when I was pregnant with Kenz:)

I know there are a lot more, I just can't think right now. 

July 24, 2011

The Birthday Party [and hello again!]

Yayyy! I have internet again! We are pretty much settled in our new house. I love it so far. I love being in the country, surrounded by corn, watching the sun set from my kitchen window, sitting on the front porch drinking sweet tea and watching the rain. :)

The kids' party was the 9th but I'm just now getting to update! The theme was Mickey and Minnie. Enjoy!

I'm proud to say I made everything! I love doing stuff like this:) And in the end, I feel so accomplished! 

ps - I still can't believe I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old:((((((((

July 11, 2011

Happy Birthday my [not a baby anymore] girl!

My baby is 3 today!! What?! That's not possible? Yesterday I was carrying home that 7lb 4oz little girl from the hospital. There is no way that was THREE years ago. 

This growing up stuff is bittersweet. The less I have to worry about diapers, bedtime, and sippy cups, the more I'm going to have to worry about school, friends, and ......boys. 

Oh boy.

I found out I was pregnant with Kenzie in November of 2007. Six months after I graduated high school. I was so scared. I was scared of what everyone would think and I was scared of what my future would be. I'm so glad to have had Doug and for him to be so supportive and be there with me through the whole process. I'm also glad to have had such an understanding family who stood by my side, too, although I still felt like a "let-down" to everyone.

Being pregnant was a life changing experience for me. I had never felt so much joy, anger, confusion, happiness, love, and worry at one time in my life lol. When I went in for my first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat, I cried. It just made it so much more real that there was a human inside of me. A tiny little human who loves me as much as I loved "it" already. Someone who was going to rely on me for the rest of his/her life. Someone who was planned for me before I was even born.

I grew up a lot and fast when I got pregnant. I looked at things differently. Everything I did from that point on, reflected on my baby in my tummy. And this is no "Teen Mom" preview, or what they make that out to be. This was life and it was hard. And being pregnant makes emotions even worse. So I cried a lot too. I was young and scared and didn't picture my life to be like this. 

Then the day came to find out what the sex of the baby would be. My MIL, Mother, and Doug came. We saw the little legs and the spine and the big head lol. Then the nurse said, "It's a Girl!". And then came the waterworks...from everyone lol. I was so excited. I was going to have a baby girl! We already had a name picked out; Kenzie Lane. :)

My pregnancy was pretty easy. I didn't really crave anything but peanut butter & syrup (thus the 50 pounds I gained....). I was an emotional train wreck though lol. At the end, I couldn't sleep. I peed every 4 minutes. And I hated waddling walking.

Then came the day I went into labor. I was 39 weeks. I woke up with Doug as he was getting ready to leave for work. I knew something wasn't right. I told him about it and he told me to keep him updated. Well duh lol. So around noon, I knew it was "time". I called my MIL to pick me up. The pain wasn't hardly anything at this point but I still wanted to go to the hospital to be sure. Well when we got there, Doug met us there. And he had to take a Valium. Not kidding. He was more freaked out than I was lol. Well, the hospital made me go walk around for an hour since I was only about 2-3 cm dilated. So we go to the mall and walk. My mother met us there. I only walked for about 40 minutes before I couldn't stand it. And the pain still wasn't too bad (in retrospective lol). 

So we go back to the hospital and I'm at 3 cm. So they put me in a room and break my water. That was the grossest feeling ever. Blah. I'm not even gonna go into that lol. And THEN comes the pain. I was NOT expecting that kind of pain at all. I knew it was going to hurt from what I read and saw on tv but I never in my life pictured it to hurt like that. I thought I was dying. And if I wasn't dying, I wanted to lol. I yelled at everybody except for Doug. I was so angry and in pain. They finally came with the epidural. They gave me the strongest stuff. I told the anesthesiologist that she was my best friend lol. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even move my legs.

Then the doctor came in around 9pm. He turned on all these bright lights about me and said "It's time to push!". I freaked out lol. This is really happening. I'm about to give birth. Well after almost puking, my mother making weird faces, and Doug looking like he was about to pass out, I gave birth to a beautiful 7 pound 4 ounce 19 inch long baby girl!!! It was such an experience holding her for the first time. She was mine. I created her. With some help from Dougie of course :)

After a horrible next couple of days at the hospital (I was so nauseous and felt horrible), we finally got to bring our new baby home. Doug and I were so proud of our beautiful baby (who was spoiled already lol).

Kenzie Lane, I can't believe you are 3 years old. You have amazed everyone with your intelligence, beauty, and your sweet, kind heart. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I love you to the moon.....and chocolate:)

July 5, 2011

What is the world coming to?

Casey Anthony found not guilty for the murder of her 2 year old daughter, Caylee? 


How can the jurors be so stupid. All the evidence was there. Casey is psycho. The jurors are idiots. And this makes me never want to go to Florida again. I'm so mad & upset right now. That poor baby girl, who did NOTHING wrong, is dead because of her dumb "mother". You know she killed her. You KNOW IT.
How can anyone do something like this?? Why is this allowed to happen and get away with it?? This country is going downhill and fast. I pray to God to watch over this country, but there's not much He's going to be able to do if no one in this country thinks to pray first? People elect "leaders" because of their skin color, not because of what they believe in. And please don't get me started on that.

Today, I'm going to hold my babies closer and pray for Caylee's family (even though they are all a bunch of hoots.) Bless that little girl's heart. 

And I can also promise, if anything ever happened to my children, God help me.

July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July:)

Happy birthday baby boy:)

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

I can't believe it.

My baby boy is one.

My sweet baby boy is a year old.

My little Firecracker Baby born on the 4th of July

Here's my birth/first year story for my baby Tucker man:)

I was due July 2nd, 2010. With Kenzie, my first, I went into labor at 39 weeks. Needless to say, at 40 weeks & 2 days, I was miserable. Out-of-my-mind-miserable. And for good reasons:
1. I was 2 days past due.
2. It was mid-summer and HOTTTTTT.
3. I was carrying a toddler...

See? There's a toddler in there:)
 This pregnancy was really weird different from my 1st pregnancy (with Kenzie). I only gained 25 pounds and only in the last 4 months. I kept loosing weight at first. I think it was because it was fate for me to give birth to a monster lol. He kept taking all my vitamins & nutrients from me!! I also had PICA. Now THAT crap was crazy lol. I craved dishwashing liquid and Pine-Sol. I wish I were joking. I also loved the smell of paint and cleaning products. I told you it was crazy...
 disclaimer: I never ate any cleaning products. But I did sniff the crap out of some lol.

I also had a different OBGYN than I had the first time. He was very quite and I only saw him 3 times before birth. The only thing he ever said to me was, "How tall are you?" Me: "5'6"....." Dr. : "Okay, good. That's gonna help you in the birthing process. You are carrying a large baby." And walks out. 

On July 2nd, 2010, I went in for my regular 40 week check-up. I cried & begged politely asked my mid-wife to induce me lol. I was stuck at 4cm for almost a week. I literally thought I was going to be pregnant forever. But I'm glad she talked some sense into me and told me to wait. I have never been induced and never will be. (No mo' babies for me!).

The next day (July 3rd) I woke up and was mad that I was still pregnant lol. (You know; hormones.) So I cleaned out my car like I was cleaning up a crime scene. In the heat. And I didn't even realize my water had been leaking all day. (I didn't know because my water was broke by my doctor with K.) I wake up at around 2:30AM with a bad contraction, get out of bed, then "pop", my water breaks. And here comes the contractions. 

As soon as my water broke, my contractions were 4 minutes apart and gradually getting stronger by the minute. The hospital is 35 minutes away. We call my MIL to pick us up (our car air-conditioning was out) and she's there in like 2 minutes lol. I don't remember much of the car ride up there because I was so focused on my contractions. I thought I was going to hurt somebody.

We get to the hospital in 20 minutes. Yep, 20. They knew I wasn't playin'. We get to my room, put my gown on, blah blah, and I'm freaking out. I don't do pain very well and labor pain is unimaginable. I was nauseous from it and hyperventilating.  I didn't want an epidural this time but I caved:( They made everyone leave the room (including Doug). This freaked me out even more. As the nurses were waiting on the anesthesiologist to come (which I think it took him about 4 years....), they all left the room too. So here I was, freaking out, in more pain than you can imagine, and the only place that I could feel a little bit of comfort was the toilet. Yes, the toilet. So then I thought I was going to give birth in the toilet and no one would be there to witness it. 
But that didn't happen (thank God). The anesthesiologist FINALLY came and gave me the epidural. I calmed down some but the stupid medicine made me cold and shake. So now I looked like a crack addict who was going through withdrawals. Wonderful.

I kept telling the nurses that I needed to push and finally someone listened to me. But Tucker had dropped SO quick after the epidural, it didn't take all the way. It took away my stomach cramps but I felt ALL the pressure and pushing. ALL. 

When they pulled one of his shoulders out, the doc said "We've got a linebacker here!". Okay I don't really care man. Just GET HIM OUTTTTTTT! lol (I didn't really say that but I was thinking it) After the final push, out comes a beautiful baby boy!! I just started laughing lol. I don't know why; I guess I was just relieved to not be pregnant have a baby boy finally. THEN, they put him on the scale. I laughed even harder. 

10 pounds 1oz.

I just gave birth, out of my hoo-hoo, to a 10 pound child. (lol hoo-hoo)

And oh was he precious. 

He's been wrapped around my finger since day one. And been stubborn since day one, too. He kept tearing the little monitors off his ears in the nursery haha!

I was up and walking 2 hours after I had him. I didn't even feel like I just had a baby. It was great. And on the way home from the hospital, I just felt complete. My little family was complete. I had a wonderful husband, a beautiful sweet little girl, and now a bouncing baby boy.

Tucker man had a rough first year though. He was hospitalized at 6 weeks old for high fever. He had to have a spinal tap done and 2 catheters. Then at 5 months old, he started having seizures. He's had to have MRI's and he's been on medicine for about 7 months now. He hasn't had a seizure since February 2011 and I'm very thankful. SO scary. I hope no mother ever has to witness their child have a seizure. You can read more about all this here. He also has to see a urologist in August because one of his testicles didn't drop. It IS there, just didn't drop. So he might have to have it surgically pulled down:(
But my baby boy is one strong, healthy little man now. He made me realize the power of prayer but he sure can test my patience lol. He is strong-willed, hard-headed, and very nosey. But it's the times where he lays his little head on my chest, that I could just melt. 
I thank God everyday for my children. I don't think I deserve them, but apparently the Lord does. So I'm gonna trust him on this one and continue to thank Him everyday for the blessings he sent to me.
Happy 1st Birthday sweet Tucker man

And yes, all those fireworks are for you:)