July 11, 2011

Happy Birthday my [not a baby anymore] girl!

My baby is 3 today!! What?! That's not possible? Yesterday I was carrying home that 7lb 4oz little girl from the hospital. There is no way that was THREE years ago. 

This growing up stuff is bittersweet. The less I have to worry about diapers, bedtime, and sippy cups, the more I'm going to have to worry about school, friends, and ......boys. 

Oh boy.

I found out I was pregnant with Kenzie in November of 2007. Six months after I graduated high school. I was so scared. I was scared of what everyone would think and I was scared of what my future would be. I'm so glad to have had Doug and for him to be so supportive and be there with me through the whole process. I'm also glad to have had such an understanding family who stood by my side, too, although I still felt like a "let-down" to everyone.

Being pregnant was a life changing experience for me. I had never felt so much joy, anger, confusion, happiness, love, and worry at one time in my life lol. When I went in for my first ultrasound to hear the heartbeat, I cried. It just made it so much more real that there was a human inside of me. A tiny little human who loves me as much as I loved "it" already. Someone who was going to rely on me for the rest of his/her life. Someone who was planned for me before I was even born.

I grew up a lot and fast when I got pregnant. I looked at things differently. Everything I did from that point on, reflected on my baby in my tummy. And this is no "Teen Mom" preview, or what they make that out to be. This was life and it was hard. And being pregnant makes emotions even worse. So I cried a lot too. I was young and scared and didn't picture my life to be like this. 

Then the day came to find out what the sex of the baby would be. My MIL, Mother, and Doug came. We saw the little legs and the spine and the big head lol. Then the nurse said, "It's a Girl!". And then came the waterworks...from everyone lol. I was so excited. I was going to have a baby girl! We already had a name picked out; Kenzie Lane. :)

My pregnancy was pretty easy. I didn't really crave anything but peanut butter & syrup (thus the 50 pounds I gained....). I was an emotional train wreck though lol. At the end, I couldn't sleep. I peed every 4 minutes. And I hated waddling walking.

Then came the day I went into labor. I was 39 weeks. I woke up with Doug as he was getting ready to leave for work. I knew something wasn't right. I told him about it and he told me to keep him updated. Well duh lol. So around noon, I knew it was "time". I called my MIL to pick me up. The pain wasn't hardly anything at this point but I still wanted to go to the hospital to be sure. Well when we got there, Doug met us there. And he had to take a Valium. Not kidding. He was more freaked out than I was lol. Well, the hospital made me go walk around for an hour since I was only about 2-3 cm dilated. So we go to the mall and walk. My mother met us there. I only walked for about 40 minutes before I couldn't stand it. And the pain still wasn't too bad (in retrospective lol). 

So we go back to the hospital and I'm at 3 cm. So they put me in a room and break my water. That was the grossest feeling ever. Blah. I'm not even gonna go into that lol. And THEN comes the pain. I was NOT expecting that kind of pain at all. I knew it was going to hurt from what I read and saw on tv but I never in my life pictured it to hurt like that. I thought I was dying. And if I wasn't dying, I wanted to lol. I yelled at everybody except for Doug. I was so angry and in pain. They finally came with the epidural. They gave me the strongest stuff. I told the anesthesiologist that she was my best friend lol. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even move my legs.

Then the doctor came in around 9pm. He turned on all these bright lights about me and said "It's time to push!". I freaked out lol. This is really happening. I'm about to give birth. Well after almost puking, my mother making weird faces, and Doug looking like he was about to pass out, I gave birth to a beautiful 7 pound 4 ounce 19 inch long baby girl!!! It was such an experience holding her for the first time. She was mine. I created her. With some help from Dougie of course :)

After a horrible next couple of days at the hospital (I was so nauseous and felt horrible), we finally got to bring our new baby home. Doug and I were so proud of our beautiful baby (who was spoiled already lol).

Kenzie Lane, I can't believe you are 3 years old. You have amazed everyone with your intelligence, beauty, and your sweet, kind heart. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I love you to the moon.....and chocolate:)


Mommybug77 said...

so cute. following from cafemom

Mrs. Pancakes said...

those are precious pictures of your daughter..too sweet!