December 13, 2012

In a funk. Sort of.

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Let's start this post on a good note....

Now let's start the bad stuff, shall we?

After failing my College Algebra (yeah..huge ego booster right there), I decided that maybe I'm not cut out for the big league (K-6th). So I changed my major to Early Education, which involves Pre-K age and under. I think I'm much more suitable for that age group anyways. 

Therefore, the majority of my classes that I've taken since January of this year till now, don't even count towards my degree. 

I pretty much wasted a whole year.

Even though it was MY choice to change majors, I still feel like a loser.
I can't afford to waste time and I did.

I just feel like I'm letting people down, even though I'm trying. I'm trying to finish school.

And I just can't help but feel that some people see me as being lazy/not productive, because I'm not contributing financially to my family by having a job.

But I think I AM contributing.

Having a job involves daycare. And daycare is outrageous. And we are DEF not made of money.
Having a job and going to school would be nearly impossible for me. I just can't balance everything.

So right now, I'm hoping everyone bares with me for the next two years. 
As I continue to pursue my dreams of actually finishing college and starting a career.
As I continue to raise my own children without daycares, just as I was raised.
As I continue to contribute to my family the best way I can right now, which involves putting everyone else's needs in front of mine.

Eventually, I will look back on this post and say, "Lauren, I'm so proud of you. YOU did it. You finished what you started and now your family can be financially stable."

So there's my soap box for the day.

For now, I will just use my motto:
I didn't get this tattooed on my body for no reason!


Southern Sass said...

I will tell you a little secret...I failed college algebra...TWICE!! Yeah. I'm not proud of it but I just don't get math and I did great in all of my other classes so they should just let some of us skip the college algebra part. Daycare is expensive or so I hear and being a mom is a major contribution to a family girl! I can't imagine having children and being a full time student sounds like you are being hard on yourself. You should be proud of yourself! Have a great day! :)

2busy said...

You are contributing! You can do so much more to contribute than having an income. Early in my marriage I didn't work outside the home. I contributed by buying things with coupons, watching for sales on things we needed, taking care of what we owned, etc. There are all kinds of ways to contribute financially without an income.

Katy said...

At least you're going to school! Once I was done high school I started working, now I'm 24, working full-time in a crappy retail job that barely pays me enough to get by and I feel stuck. I definitely don't have the money or time to go back to school even though I'd like to. Eventually what you're doing will pay off so don't worry :)