Pray for the Children.

I’m emotional. I’m just a big pile of emotional-ness right now. Probably something to do with Mother Nature, but still. My heart has just been so heavy lately. All I can think about is those poor babies who were stuck in those schools in Moore, OK during the tornadoes. All I can think about is those who are struggling to have babies or those who might not ever get to take their child home from the hospital or those who are carrying babies in the womb who they know will probably never be born alive. My heart hurts for those people. I don’t understand why some things have to happen, and I especially don’t understand why horrible things have to happen to the most innocent. I don’t understand how some people can get pregnant and don’t want the baby so they MURDER it, or as some like to call it, abortion. I don’t understand why there are childhood cancers and life threatening illnesses.
As a mother, most days I feel like I’m going to literally pull my hair out. But my children are my WORLD. Without them, I could not function. I don’t know how parents go on with their lives after losing a child. I don’t know and I don’t want to know, but they have to be the strongest people on this planet.
I can’t call myself a super religious person because I sin. A lot. And most of the time I don’t consider myself worthy to be called a Christian. But I do pray. I pray a lot. I pray when I wake up. I pray every time I see a prayer request on Facebook. I pray to keep my family safe. I pray for families who’ve been affected by tragedies in the news. But the one thing I always pray about is my children. I thank God every night for my beautiful angels and I thank Him for allowing me to be their mother. I pray that he protects them throughout their lives because they are my whole life.

So today, just take a minute out of your day to pray. Pray for the unborn children, pray for the mothers and fathers, pray for the children in hospitals with fatal illnesses, pray for those struggling with infertility, pray for those considering adoption, pray for those children who are abused, and pray for the children without a loving home.

Home is where the heart is

I'm SO glad and thankful to be home today! After spending 2 nights in the hospital with little man, my couch has never felt so good:)

My poor man and his hospital bracelet:(

The hubby and I were supposed to do our Valentine's date night tonight but I wanted to stay with the kiddos since I haven't seen Kenzie in 2 days and my Tucker man still isn't fully himself. So instead, he picked up Dominoe's and some Valentine cookies and we caught up on some DVR's of American Idol. And that was just all right with me:) Tucker has to take breathing treatments for a week. The breathing machine they gave us is a firetruck! Its so cool! Kenzie thought it was a toy lol. I'm hoping Tucker gets back to himself soon. It breaks my heart for him to be sick! Poor thing has gone through so much in his short little life. At 6 weeks old, he had to be hospitalized for 3 days for a high fever. He had to have a spinal tap done and two catheters :( Then, when he was 4 months old, he started to have weird "spells", which was diagnosed as Complex Partial Seizures. Last Saturday, he had a General Seizure (like a Grand Mal). So he takes medicine twice a day for the seizures. He will probably have to take the medicine for 2 years. We are taking him to LeBonhuer in Memphis for tests. He gets an MRI done Feb. 22nd. I'm hoping we can finally get some answers as to why he is having the seizures! It scares me not knowing.

When things get tough for me, I kind of just quietly and slowly fall apart. I try to act strong on the outside, but in the inside, I'm breaking down. I tend to think more negatively about things. And I tend to blame myself for unnecessary things; like "well maybe because I did this, I'm being punished through what I love the most in this world: my children." That's why I'm glad I have Doug. He is my shoulder to cry on and to tell me everything will be okay. And when I finally get myself semi-back in order, I remember to pray. I know that should probably be the first thing I do, but for some reason, I just forget. After I pray, I feel better. And then things start to get better. I've lost faith, but I'm finding it again. And I'm praying again.