this is my quote that pretty much sums it up
Who I Am:
A damn good mother.
A loving wife
A book lover.
Sweet tea, Dr.Pepper, coffee addict.
A best friend.
Who I Think I Am:
A big slob who stays at home all the time.
Lost in the world.
Someone who will never figure out what to do with my life.
All of my friends are going out this weekend. At first I didn’t want to go. Hubbs didn’t understand why. I tried using the “I’m tired” excuse, but he wasn’t buying that. Before I could open my mouth with another excuse he says, “If you don’t have anything to wear, I will buy you something.” Dang it. Can’t use that one either…
And then I just start crying.
Now, being the sweet husband (most of the time haha) that he is, he tries to calm me down. But in the process of that, he gets mad. He gets mad because he says I AM not fat, I’m just not as small as I used to be. And he tells me I am beautiful.
I’ve never really felt pretty except for when I was feeling pretty for the wrong reasons.
I was always so hard on myself for anything. My weight; my looks; my clothes. Even when I was a cheerleader, I always felt huge. And looking back now, I was NOT fat at ALL.
Then and Now
Obviously, I was retarded.
I’m still very hard on myself. I hate being in pictures. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate finding something to wear.
My self esteem is sad. Before I had kids, I loved meeting new people. I loved dancing. I loved going out. Now, I have to have a few (or 6) drinks before I hit the dance floor lol.
Hubbs tells me that my idea of beauty is superficial. I get my ideal body from Victoria Secret models. He says that’s not real life. Not everyone CAN look like that and he doesn’t care if I ever look like that. He doesn’t put lies in my head though…he does tell me he knows I’m slightly overweight but I’m not HUGE like I think I am.
But I’m not just gonna sit around and mope. I’m gonna do something about it. I’ve been cutting back on what I eat for the past couple of days. I feel better not eating a ton of food for dinner. Now if only I could get some energy & get over my hatred for sweat and start to exercise! I need to lose 60 pounds to be in a healthy BMI for my height.
Has anyone else lost a significant amount of weight before? How did you do it? Any yummy healthy snacks or recipes?
Also, motivation tips would be nice. Me and chocolate have this thing…and I need to let go. LOL!