Now normally, I'm not one to care what others think of me. Actually, I DON'T care what other people think of me as a person, but as a mother? That's totally different.
And here's where my concerns lie.
To the people behind me in the checkout line, staring at me and my two year old son who's literally dragging his legs and crying because I said he couldn't get the candy as I'm trying to pull him away to pay for our things with tears in my eyes because I'm just frustrated and feeling alone: What kind of mother do YOU see me as?
To the people who hear me quietly say to my children that if they walk away from me one more time or pull something else off the shelf in the store that they are going to get a spanking: What kind of mother do YOU see me as?
To the people who realize I had my first child at the age of 19, and my second at age 21: What kind of mother do YOU see me as?
To the nurses in the hospital room who see me burst into tears just from utter exhaustion after telling me that my two year old son needs to stay still to keep his oxygen levels up: What kind of mother do YOU see me as?
To my friends and family who see how stressed I get after a long day of tantrums and back talking and just plain aggravation: What kind of mother do YOU see me as?
I really want to think that the people who see me (and my kids) at my worst, can still see how much I love my babies. I hope they can see through my messy hair, ugly "mom" clothes, and tired eyes, and see that I'm trying my best. I hope they can understand that raising children is the hardest job in the whole Earth and Mothers are the most under appreciated beings.
I can't even explain to you how it feels to be a mother. It's fun. It's horrible. It's not glamorous. It's breath taking. It's pure. It's magical. It's stressful. It's crazy. It's love.
Most say pregnancy is hard. But oh my goodness, being pregnant is just the icing on the cake. Even labor doesn't top the hardest part about being a mother. It's the actual raising of the children that can just down right bring you to tears.
I'm scared to death of being a mother, but it's a little late for that.
I just pray I can raise my children to be wonderful, loving, funny, caring, smart individuals. And I hope the world can see that that's what I'm trying to do.
4 comments:
I think you're awesome!!! :)
I LOVE this post! I just had my first child at age 20 (he's five months now). A lot of times, no matter what we do or how great of parents we are, some people are going to look down on how we parent just because of our age. And I can imagine how exhausting and frustrating it gets having to deal with two at a time! You wrote this so well, I just love it.
Great post! I agree parenting is certainly the harder part. I had no idea that so many people would try to insert their opinions and beliefs into how I parent.
I will spank my child. I won't enjoy it, but I also won't enjoy having my child turn into a disrepectful child/teen who is has no boundaries and knows that they won't be punished if they misbehave. Will I use other methods of punishment? Most certainly! I have every intention of dusting of the dictonary my father made me copy from when I got in trouble.
Although I was 24 when I had my daughter I get a lot of those "oh you're just a young parent, you don't know what you're doing" stares. It's insulting. How about you pay attention to your child and I will focus on mine. Ugh!
I guess we just have to brush it off and keep moving. Your children will love and respect you, regardless of what the strangers think of you.
This is a beautiful post. I am always so worried about what people think of me as a mother, especially when they only see a slice of who I am.
Post a Comment