graduation.

100 Days Photo Challenge

Day 8 - A picture of the best moment of your life

Well, since everyone knows my best moments are always my wedding day and giving birth to my children, I decided to shake it up a little. My next best moment of my life would be graduating high school. 

2007

OAN: My little brother is graduating high school next month. I feel super old now :/

Fill In the Blank Friday!

This is my first linky thingy.... :)

1. I am looking forward to starting school this fall, moving out of this house and into a house with carpet (it's the little things...), the kid's birthday parties!, and summertime<3

2. Something kind of embarrassing but I still love anyway is Harry Potter. Well, it's not really embarrassing; but should it be? I mean, I AM 22 years old... Oh well:) I still love it.

3. My favorite car is a Nissan Murano. So cute. So jealous of anyone who has one.

4. If I could pick one type of weather to live in for the rest of my life, it would be sunny and around 80 degrees with NO humidity. Here in West Tennessee, "It's not the heat that'll kill ya, it's the humidity." Well it will kill a good hairday, that's for sure.

5. My favorite thing to do after a bad/stressful day is to take a nice. long, hot. bath. Then possibly indulge in some chocolate :)

6. This weekend the kids, the hubbs, and myself are going to my Mom's for dinner. She is making my favorite, spaghetti. My mom makes the best spaghetti ever. Pretty sure God taught her how. Then BOTH kids are going to their "Gaggy and Grandada's" for the night. Ah, relaxation, here I come!

7. If I were a color I'd be pink because, pink is the best color of the world. It's bright. It's happy. And it's a girl's best friend<3

Day 4-7 of 100DPC...I know I'm behind

I'm not sure why I forgot about the 100DPC. But here I am catching up:)

100 Day Photo Challenge

Day 4 - A picture of yourself 10 years ago.

I'm pretty sure I was 12 here. And no, I didn't eat ALL those burgers myself.

 Day 5 - A place that makes you happy

The Tennessee River <3

Day 6 - Your favorite quote, in your handwriting.

oh man...my handwriting today is awful. So is my spelling :/

Day 7 - Something you love.

I love these munchkins<3

Ok Now I'm caught up with that:)

Oh and has anyone heard of Pintrest? I just got my "membership" today and I can't decide if I love it or not. To me it's just like Stumbleupon but with no details...just pics. Oh, and I joined Bookmooch.com today too. I am determined to read these 100 books. I have Pride and Prejudice being sent to me first. (I know, I know....I admit I have never read this book. Sad. Yes.) I love to read, but I am horrible about buying more books. So this way I can get rid of the ones I have read, and get more for free!

American Idol **SPOILER**

WHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT??

That's exactly my reaction to Casey going home today. But more so, that Jacob Lusk is still there!!! He is terrible! Why America, why?! I'm mad.

Poor Casey. Maybe he did growl a little much....but he is still a WAY more talented artist than Lusky-Musky. That's my new name for "him". grrr.

Be smart America. Vote for Lauren! or Scotty; or Haley; or James. 

But NOT this:

When I grow up

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

*sigh* What am I doing? I'm going to go to school for something just to have a stable job in the future; not for something I love to do. When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I loved all animals and I wanted to save every one. Then as I got older, I realized how much I don't like blood. So scratch the vet stuff. Then I thought about being a lawyer. They seem to make decent money. Oh, but when I argue with someone I get really mad and start to cry. Scratch the lawyer. What about being a teacher? I would be able to be out for summers and spend time with my kids! Wait, I don't have the patience to teach the horrible children these days. Scratch teaching. Well what am I going to do???? I don't like blood, needles, arguing, crying, or bay-bay kids. Why can't I do something I love? Why can't I make a living baking cute little cupcakes or sewing adorable clothes and diaper bags or monogram things? Why? Well, because this world is so selfish and everything & everyone is so money hungry. Everything costs so much to live, that without an education and a stable career, you won't have anything. At least that's what it's like around here. 

Maybe one day in the future, I will be able to do the things I LOVE doing. But it will most likely be an "on the side thing". I'm going to school because I'm thinking about my family. 

Oh boy...

It's gonna be a long night....

http://www.wbbjtv.com/weather/interactive-radar

 

I suck at thinking of titles:/

30 Days of Truth - Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.

Probably ALL of my high school friends (give or take one or two of them...). After we graduated, I didn't ever see anybody except for the ones I stayed close with. Then after I got pregnant with Kenzie, the number of friends got smaller. I guess I never wanted to let go of my high school years, but everyone has to! It's part of life. And I wish my "friends" would have stayed friends. Even though I have children now, I'm pretty much the same Lauren; just the upgraded version:)

100 Days Photo Challenge

Day 3 - A Favorite book that you own

Sad to say, I don't own that many books. I love to read though! I think I'm going to make it a new goal of mine to find time to read. 

This was my favorite out of the series. Gotta love Love Triangles lol:)

Hell & Happiness & Easter..lol

30 Days of Truth - Day 7: Someone who has made your life hell.

I don't want to say any names or try not to give any clues on this one. But this person made my life a living hell. And I blame every bad thing that happened to me from the time I met this person on him or her. I know that sounds ridiculous and childish but that's how I look at it. There is always this thought in the back of mind thinking "Why didn't you THINK about ME before doing that!". I didn't understand how one person could turn my life around like that. I hated that time. And I hated what it did to a relationship. I probably can't blame everything on this person though, because in the end it was my decision to do the things I did. But if this someone had never been a part of my life, I wouldn't have had to make those decisions. I will never forget it and I'm emotionally scarred from it.

100 Day Picture Challenge

Day 2 : A picture that makes you happy:)

[since this is MY blog & I can do what I want, I'm adding more than one picture:) lol]

Wedding Day <3

The first time holding Miss Kenzie Lane :)

The first time holding my big boy, Tucker man:)

Every time I see this picture I have to smile:)

Kenzie meeting Tucker for the first time. *tear*

Well, Happy Easter everyone! I hope ya'll had an awesome egg-hunting, chocolate candy eating, family spending day:) The kids both got Easter baskets from the Easter bunny this morning. Then we went to my Nana's for an AMAZING lunch. And yes, I cheated on my diet today...that was going to be a given. You can't go to Nana's and not eat the yummy goodness of food she cooks. It's a rule. A rule that shall never be broken:)  Then Kenzie hunted for eggs with her cousins, who are too old to be Easter Egg hunting lol. But they had fun. Kenzie ate about 14 pounds of chocolate today...that might be the reason she's gone through one and a half movies so far before bed......uhh..

*Day 7 of 30DoT* && a new photo challenge! :)

Day 7 of 30 Days of Truth :  Someone who has made your life worth living.

Well, in my case, it is more than one person; Two to be exact:) My little munchkins. My sweet Princess and my angel man:) Kenzie Lane & Tucker James make give so much more meaning to my life then I thought anything or anyone could. It was love at first sight with both of them. Gah, they are just perfect to me! (But who's kid's aren't in their parent's eyes lol). They make me want to be a better person and they are ALWAYS a big part in all the decisions I make, whether big or small. They changed my life for the better and even though sometimes I feel like ripping my hair off and running away, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my babies<3

100 Day Photo Challenge

*Day 1 - A picture of yourself*

(Its supposed to be a picture of yourself on the day you start the challenge but I look a hot mess right now so I changed it. Shoot me.) 

*Day 5* My Worst Nightmare

q. Something you hope you never have to do.

a. I knew what I was going to write about as soon as I saw this. I hope I NEVER EVER EVER have to bury my children. Ever. I don't think I would have the strength to ever get over something as traumatic as that. I know deep in my heart, that I will never have that kind of strength, to get up and walk away from that. These past couple of weeks, all I have heard about is these little children dying and it breaks my heart. I can't imagine. I don't want to imagine. That is my worst nightmare. I hope I never have to plan Kenzie or Tucker's funeral. I might as well plan mine in the process. I never knew anyone personally who had lost their child, until one of my best friends died in 2009. Her mother was so strong during everything. She is still strong. I have so much respect for her because I know I could never have the strength that she has.

-My heart and prayers go out to all the families of the lost loved ones (especially the children). May God grant them strength.

Day 5 - Hope for the Future

q. Something you hope to do in your life

a. Well this one is a bit easier than the last couple of days lol. There are a lot of things I hope to do in my life but I'm going to narrow it down to one thing for today.
I would love to be able to retire and move by the water. I say I would love to retire because you just never know with this crappy economy:/ I don't want to work my entire life. And I don't care what water I move by lol...The river, the ocean, a creek. I would just love to be able to walk out on my back porch and see water. I love it.

It's always me...

ALWAYS.  If something goes wrong, I somehow get the blame. I don't do anything right, even when I think it's right. I can't ever be happy. I always get blamed for everything. It's always my fault.
Where is my "silver lining"? Why is it that all the people around me are happy and I'm not? Is there something wrong with ME? Or am I really doing everything wrong? Is it so bad to want to be happy all the time??? Nothing ever goes right for me...and if it does, it sure doesn't last very long. Maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe that's what I get for just settling. I just want things to get better and freakin STAY better. PLEASE!

Day 4 - I forgive you.

q. Something you have to forgive someone for.

a. This one is a real toughy for me because I am not ready to forgive "those" who need to be forgiven. It's something I like to put in the back of my mind and not think about or talk about. There is more than one person I probably need to forgive for doing something to me or hurting me. I just don't have the strength to let it all out. Blahhhh. :/

Day 3 - Forgivness.

q. Something you have to forgive yourself for.

a. Everything in my past. The stupid decisions I made. I have to forgive myself for those things, even though they still haunt me. There's not even a specific thing I can think of because there were SO many stupid decisions made in my life. But, there is no one to blame but myself. Therefore I have to forgive myself. And I DO forgive myself, because I know that is NOT who I am and my past should NOT sum up who I am or who I have become. One can only grow stronger from the mistakes they have made. I forgive myself because I KNOW I am not that same person. And I AM stronger, not only for myself, but for my two beautiful children.


ps. This 30 Days of Truth crap is harder than I thought! lol

New Beginings...hopefully!

I'm hoping the future is better to me than the past and present. I know I'm not a perfect person, but do I really deserve all the crap I catch?? Seriously.

This is what my future will hold me for [if I keep up the motivation; and I WILL] :

• Our first family vaca to Orlando,FL! (I know this one will take effect...we are leaving tomorrow! lol)
• Start AND finish college. For whatever. (I'm leaning on Respiratory Care)
• Find a decent job to hold me over while I'm in school.
• Lose weight. And I'm serious this time. Good Golly.
• Start to put my creative thinking into action!

I'm crossing my fingers that I find a job soon. I am NOT going back to having nothing again. I want better for my family. 

*Day 2* Love...

q. Something you love about yourself.

a. Hmmmm. As sad as this sounds, day 1 was easier for me. But here goes nothing...I love my creativeness. It usually just goes on in my head and never actually gets put to use, but I think that will come to an end soon! I love planning little parties; right down to the outfits lol. I love coming up with ideas to start a "mini business". It would be awesome to actually get to do something I LOVE and make money doing it:) I love scrapbooking and baking and decorating. I just wish I could put more use to my "gift". Someday I will. But right now, the two precious babies I have are keeping me busy as it is:)

30 Days of Truth *Day 1*

q. Something you hate about yourself.

a. Hate. That's such a strong word. BUT, if it must be used to describe something about me, I'm going to use it towards my self consciousness. I am so critical about myself. I feel like I have "let myself go" after I had kids and got married. I'm not used to this "new me". I'm not used to these "new curves"; and lumps. lol. And frankly, I don't really WANT to get used to them. I want to get rid of them! And I swear I will.
I used to light up the room with my outgoing personality. Now I like to stand aside. I am really bad about comparing myself to other girls. I hate that. I'm working on it though.

So there ya go...something I hate about myself.

Throw some glitter....

Sounds fun, so I'm gonna do some! I'm going to do 30 Days of Truth and 30 Days of Lists. I got this idea from my online friend's blog :) She's pretty internet awesome lol.

Today is my little brother's 18th birthday. I can't believe he is 18. It seems like yesterday when we were searching for Dinosaur bones in our neighbor's yard or racing our bikes down Gran's neighborhood. Good times:) We had dinner for him at Gran's house tonight, and during the drive down there, me and the kids listened to Ke$ha all the way there:) Kenzie loves "Blow". She shouts "this place about to Blow-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ow" and "Go insane! Go insane! Throw some glitter, make it rain." :) I love that girl! She loves music. She gets that from me and Doug. But I'm just glad she loves all kinds of music from Guns and Roses' "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". Be looking for her on American Idol Season 24:)

Here's to you Kenz-co.

 

Sick and Tired of Worrying

I am so ready for things to get better. I'm ready to not have to worry about the little things. I'm ready to start school in the fall and get an education so I won't have to keep looking for GOOD jobs all the time.I'm ready to have a HOME where I don't have to worry about where we will have to go when the lease runs up. I want my kids to have a wonderful life. I don't want them to follow in my footsteps. I want them to have so much better.

UGHHH. I'm just so mad/upset/worried/crazy right now. Just when things were going pretty good, some BS has to blow up.

BUT, we are going to Orlando this weekend for a whole week. I NEED a vacation. But I know I will still be worrying about everything while I'm there. I just want a break. From reality. But I guess that's all part of "growing up".

Just pray, Lauren. Just pray.