The Van and Gaga!!

Got my mini-van today! Its awesome:) Yep. Awesome! There is so much room its not even funny. Plus it came with a pretty bad ace CD player! haha! My mom still can't believe I got one. Neither can my brother. LOL!

My best friend, Raven, got me a late birthday present.....TICKETS TO SEE LADY GAGA  IN NASHVILLE!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooooooo excited!!!!!!! :) I love her!!!! (Raven and Gaga of course lol)  Oh boy:) We are gonna have so much fun. Oh, and she also made some fire roast today! Yep, she is pretty awesome!

Well, long day with 5 kids...just had a long, hot, bubble bath:) Now "me" time!
P.S - Is Facebook acting retarded for anybody else??? I can't do ANYTHING! It won't even let me post a status! I'm hoping it lets me post this though lol

*tear* I'm growing up!!

Sometimes, it sucks to be wrong. It sucks even worse when you are used to always being right. hehe:) That being said, I'm getting a mini-van.
Yep.
Me.
Lauren Kristen Cupples Loeffel.
Is getting a van.
Buy you know what? I like the fact that I'm beginning not to care what people think of me! I know I should have never cared in the first place, but growing up, I have realized what is more important. My family. I love 'em. So I am gonna rock the mini van, and I'm gonna rock it hard:) But like my sweet husband said, I would look good driving anything:) lmao! I love him!

I also like the fact that I am accepting my fate. Here I am, 22 years old. I should be in my dorm room in Knoxville, studying for a big test in my 4th year of college or getting ready in a cute cocktail dress for a sorority party. Yet, here I am, wiping boogers, giving baths, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, driving a mini van with not one, but 2 car seats, wearing a wedding ring, and trying to invent a cure for stretch marks. And I'm loving every minute of it! :) Now, I'm not saying I'm a fuddy duddy, sit at home all the time, kind of momma. I am still 22 ya know. So I still love any reason to get dressed up to get out of the house:) I don't care if its to the local Olive Garden or to downtown Nashville. A woman needs to get out of the house! A woman needs girl friends! A woman needs a man to spoil her! Although I'm still working on that last one.....nah, I take that back; Dougie does spoil me. Just not in the way I want to be spoiled lol:) I love him still. I love him a lots:)

Update on Tucker man!

Today has been a super LONG day. Me, Doug, and the kids, left the house at 5AM this morning to head to Memphis for Tucker's MRI. The instructions given to me when we made this appointment were to not give him anything to eat/drink for 8 hours prior to the procedure. We were supposed to be at LeBonhuer at 7:30AM so they can begin the MRI at 8AM.  Well.....we hit Memphis traffic at 7:15, making us a little late and I HATE being late. We finally make it there and go to the Neurology Department. Wrong. We were supposed to be in the Radiology Department. We get back on the elevator, finally making it to where we needed to be at 8AM. They call us back to the "prep" room only to be told that in THEIR computer, we weren't scheduled for the MRI until 10:30..  WHAT??!! My poor baby can't eat anything for ANOTHER 2 hours on top of the 8 he already couldn't eat??!!! Oh. No. They. Didn't.

But, it turns out, one child that was ahead of us for the MRI was too sick to go through with it. So it bumped Tucker up to getting his done quicker than we thought!

BUT....they had to put him to sleep because he is so young and they needed to put an IV in him in case he had a seizure during the MRI. I told the nurse that Tucker has really small veins, like me, and that they always have trouble finding one to use. This stupid nurse tells me to hold his legs down while her and the other nurse find a vein. She looks for like 0.4 seconds on this hand then sticks a needle in it. And was wiggling it around!!!!! Oh I was sick. Literally. The room started spinning. Tucker was screaming bloody murder (and I don't blame him). Doug took over just in time. I almost passed out. Why would you do that to a baby?? After I JUST told you he had small veins!!! So as I sat in the chair beside Kenzie getting my breath back and crying, Doug held Tucker down while they stuck him 3 more times. Yes, three. Once in each food and one on the other hand. Doug finally told them to quit. She said she would let the doctor do it. Thanks. Idiot. 
They took Tucker back to the anesthesiologist to finish his IV. Thankfully, this doctor has a heart and gave him "the gas" before they stuck him again. So he didn't feel that one, thank goodness. I thought I was gonna have to hurt somebody. It only took about 45 minutes to complete the MRI. When they let me come back to the recovery room, Tuck was out of it lol. He was so funny. But he did great!

We finally met with his Neurologist at around 11AM. He looked at the MRI results and all was great! Nothing was abnormal. He diagnosed him with having Idiopathic seizures. They are the most common type and they have no known causes. He is most likely to outgrow them by the age of 2, if not before. He will continue to take his medicine for 2 more years. We go back every 6 months for a checkup to see if we need to up his dosages. That's why he had a "general seizure" a couple of weeks ago; because he had hit a growth spurt and the dosage he was taking just wasn't strong enough for him anymore. So we are gonna keep an eye out for that.

Here is a link explaining more about Idiopathic Seizures     CLICK HERE

I wanted to thank everyone for praying for us! It means so much to me and my family that so many people are thinking of Tucker and us in these times! I'm just so thankful for a healthy baby boy. I know it could be worse, that's why I'm counting my blessings. My sweet little family means everything to me!

Answers and Prayers

Tomorrow morning me, Doug, and the kids will be heading to Le Bonheur Children's Hospital in Memphis to do an MRI on Tucker. My poor baby man has to be put to sleep! I'm a little worried. But, I know this will hopefully give us some answers as to why he is having seizures! The worst feeling in the world is NOT knowing. I'm praying to God that everything goes OK tomorrow and to get some answers soon. My favorite quote of all time is "Everything happens for a reason". And I truly believe that. God will never hand me anything He knows I can't overcome! Little Tucker is a blessing to my life and others lives. He was brought to this earth for a reason:)

Oh, by the way. Tucker, who is 7 months old, has learned to say "momma", crawl, pull up, and say "bababa" all in one week!! Next week he will be talking in sentences and walking! He is growing up too fast! My sweet little man:)

boo for me. :(

It sucks that my self confidence does not even exist anymore. It's to the point where I can't even have fun. When I get all "dolled" up to go somewhere, I feel really pretty. And then, when I see someone who is prettier or skinnier than me, I just sink a little lower inside. I want my body back. But more importantly, I want my self confidence back. I want to feel the way I felt when I was 18. I want to walk in a room and own it. I want to meet new people without being jealous. I want to shop where I want to shop. I want my clothes to look good on me. I want to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. I want my belly button ring back. I want to dance like no one is watching on the dance floor. I want to sing my heart out on stage. I want to walk down the street and not worry if people are making fun of the way I look. I want to not even worry what people think of me. I want. I want. I want.

ugh.

long day. [with some laughs]

Memphis with my wonderful mother-in-law (and I'm not being sarcastic lol). I'm very blessed to NOT have the "evil/annoying" mother-in-law that everyone dreads having. Nope. I got lucky:) I consider her as a mother! She is such an awesome grandmother to my kids and I don't know what I would do without her! 

Back to the subject lol. We went to Memphis today with the kids for Kenzie's dermatologist appointment. Now, don't ask me why we had to drive all the way to Memphis for this because I still do not know - the bumps on Kenzie's arms and legs are very common but not curable. Ok. Thanks for that info that I probably could have googled. Oh well. It got me out of the house and had a fun time with the kids:) We went to the mall to shop for me a dress to wear to Nashville, only to become super depressed after going to 3 stores. Boo for being fat. 

And some people are STILL a laughing stock of Facebook but doesn't seem to notice!! lol! Its hilarious:) I'm SOOO glad I got to witness some stuff today. I was cracking UP! :) Like I said, I love my mother-in-law!! 

Now I'm fixing to head to bed. Got my bags packed for tomorrow and heading out in the morning for Nashville for my sister-in-law's bachelor/bachelorette party:) SUPER excited!!!

Sleepless Night.

No. sleep. last. night.....zzzzzzzzzzzz.
I'm so tired. Kenzie had diarreah last night all in my bed. Nice. Then she had to puke. Even nicer. So I had to clean her up, give her some medicine, and put the sheets and clothes in the washer. It STUNK. Bad. She seems ok this morning though. Bless her heart.

Doug called me this morning and wanted the VIN# to the vehicle I am trying to get. Our bank is trying to get us Pre-Approved!! Oh please Lord let me get this car!!!!! Please Please PLEASE!!!

Goals.

Things I would love to accomplish by the end of the year

• Lose 50 pounds.
• Go back to school.
• Get our credit where it needs to be again.
• Either rent another house or (hopefully) buy one. But our credit needs to be better to do that.

That's it. :)

Valentine, Shmalentine.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Now that THAT'S over with...today hasn't been so fun. Tucker keeps puking because of the mucus draining; Laundry; No nap; Grocery shopping; car shopping (which is a COMPLETE headache by the way); dropped my Blackberry in the toilet; and now I have a headache! Yahhh!

Not.

I'm serious about the car shopping crap though. I never thought it would be so hard to find a freaking car! And of course I'm going to be picky. Why shouldn't I be? Its MY car that I have to drive for 4-5 more years! But I'm crossing my fingers about this one...I'm not gonna say anymore about it because I'm scared it won't happen. Lol, yes I'm superstitious:)

Now I don't know what I'm gonna do about my phone:( Right now its soaking in a bowl of rice lol. Maybe I can talk the hubby into getting me a new phone:) maybe...

So today sucked. The end.
:)

All dressed up with nowhere to go

Well, my sister-in-law's wedding shower was tonight. Me and Kenzie were ready to go and I was fixing to change Tucker, when he puked up all his food from earlier:( So I just sent Kenzie with the in-laws. He can't keep down anything solid. Poor baby man! And he barely takes his bottle. I just wish he would hurry up and get better! This being stuck at home with a sick baby is for the birds :/ Oh well, guess that's motherhood! I just had to show this --> That's Tucker's breathing machine! Isn't that neat?! And this is what my 7 month old son likes to do in his "spare time" lol... Watch basketball. Not Sesame Street. Not Diego. But Basketball. I'm serious. He can be pitching a fit like nobody's business, but if we turn on a basketball game, it's like we flipped a switch! He stares and stares! Maybe he's gonna play when he gets older? I would have figured football, seeing as when they pulled one of his shoulder's out when I was giving birth, they called him a linebacker:) But I will love him just the same no matter WHAT he does with his life! He's my little man!

Oh, and I am FINALLY learning how to French Braid! LOOKY! (its small, but its a start!)
And my cupcake sticker on my Blackberry is from my Kenz Kenz:) She's the sticker queen.

Home is where the heart is

I'm SO glad and thankful to be home today! After spending 2 nights in the hospital with little man, my couch has never felt so good:)

My poor man and his hospital bracelet:(

The hubby and I were supposed to do our Valentine's date night tonight but I wanted to stay with the kiddos since I haven't seen Kenzie in 2 days and my Tucker man still isn't fully himself. So instead, he picked up Dominoe's and some Valentine cookies and we caught up on some DVR's of American Idol. And that was just all right with me:) Tucker has to take breathing treatments for a week. The breathing machine they gave us is a firetruck! Its so cool! Kenzie thought it was a toy lol. I'm hoping Tucker gets back to himself soon. It breaks my heart for him to be sick! Poor thing has gone through so much in his short little life. At 6 weeks old, he had to be hospitalized for 3 days for a high fever. He had to have a spinal tap done and two catheters :( Then, when he was 4 months old, he started to have weird "spells", which was diagnosed as Complex Partial Seizures. Last Saturday, he had a General Seizure (like a Grand Mal). So he takes medicine twice a day for the seizures. He will probably have to take the medicine for 2 years. We are taking him to LeBonhuer in Memphis for tests. He gets an MRI done Feb. 22nd. I'm hoping we can finally get some answers as to why he is having the seizures! It scares me not knowing.

When things get tough for me, I kind of just quietly and slowly fall apart. I try to act strong on the outside, but in the inside, I'm breaking down. I tend to think more negatively about things. And I tend to blame myself for unnecessary things; like "well maybe because I did this, I'm being punished through what I love the most in this world: my children." That's why I'm glad I have Doug. He is my shoulder to cry on and to tell me everything will be okay. And when I finally get myself semi-back in order, I remember to pray. I know that should probably be the first thing I do, but for some reason, I just forget. After I pray, I feel better. And then things start to get better. I've lost faith, but I'm finding it again. And I'm praying again.

BIG sigh.....

Welp. Today is my husband's 25th birthday. And he had to spend it at the hospital with me and Tucker. And I didn't even have a chance to get him a card or bake him a cake or anything. HE brought ME a card and balloon! How sweet is that? This is what the card said:

Sweet huh? :) I love him so much. Even though we drive each other crazy sometimes. But he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I'm so glad he is in my life. He gave me 2 BEAUTIFUL children. Even though he's not so handy with cleaning around the house *ahem*, he always finds a way to make everything right. He's my best friend.

I'm pretty sure all our plans for this weekend are shot now:( Doug and I were supposed to do our "Valentine's" on Friday night with dinner at Olive Garden and a movie. But I will be home taking care of my Tucker man. And Saturday we were supposed to go look for me a new vehicle but now Doug has to work (since he took off today). Maybe we can go after he gets off...I dunno.

I'm taking off work next week to get my bay bay's nurtured back to health. I think they deserve a break. My poor sweet angels:(

Well...Happy Birthday Dougie Fresh:) I love you more than words can express and I'm so glad I get to spend many more birthdays with you!!

good grief.

Why oh why can't I catch a break? My poor baby is in the hospital for RSV and my baby girl has an ear infection and a cold:( I hate when they are sick. Breaks my heart. And for them being sick all the time, I'm losing money...and I'm scared in the end, I'm gonna lose my job all together. All the more reason for me to jump start getting my education. God. When something goes good, why can't it stay good??

college & shopping.

That's what I'm doing right now. Looking at college stuff (for I am going back to school this Fall *fingers crossed*)! I want to be a Psychologist. I LOVED Pysch in High School and in my 1st (and only) semester of college. Plus they make more than a Teacher, which is what I initially wanted to be. lol.
And I'm shopping! Online of course. I am looking for a dress to wear to my sister-in-laws bachelor/bachelorette party in Nash-vegas!!! And I have found several.

But THIS ONE is really calling my name...I think. And then I'm gonna need a cute Pea Coat to go with it!

I've also gotta get the kids a new wardrobe for Spring! Old Navy and The Children's Place have some really cute stuff AND some sales! WHOO!

What a day

Packers win the Super Bowl! (Not that I really cared, I just didn't want a man who allegedly raped a young girl to have that victory...)  It was fun having all my friends and family over. But of course there was drama. That's not to be talked about though...

*I just don't understand some people. Some people just really get on my nerves! -end of rant.

Kiddos are in bed (FINALLY) so its chill time for this Momma:)  

oh! And THIS is what I do in my spare time! I LOVE this site! It keeps me entertained like nobody's business lol. And I have found some pretty awesome recipes out of it! Thanks @Sarah E. :)

Back to work tomorrow! Ah, Mondays...I seem to never want you to come lol.

Here goes nothin'

ok. hi:) I finally got this thing working (kind of) but I still can't fix my background and junk! :/ Oh well. 

So its the Super Bowl!! And I could care less. I just like the company & the food it brings! Steaks, burgers (well, just one burger for me lol. I didn't want steak.), fries, pizza dip (YUMMM), and possibly dessert but I'm not sure yet. I made no bake cookies butttt, they haven't set right yet:(  But they ARE yummy lol. Will post later. I'm hungrrrrry!