I have this bad feeling that instead of going to an old folks home when I get old, I'm going to be put in a looney bin. I think about things that I'm afraid no one else thinks about. I think I might be crazy.
I cry a lot thinking about my babies. What if something happened to me? Would someone know how to love them like I do? Would they know our silly games we play? Or that Kenzie is the sweetest, most beautiful little girl in the world who has a huge and pure heart? Or that Tucker is a Momma's boy and likes to be sung to (preferably Simple Man)? Will they know that kissing Kenzie's boo-boos makes her tears stop instantly? Can someone possibly love my babies as much as I do? I know there are people that love them SO much in their lives. But they only have one Mother. Only one person who carried them for 9 months; who loved them from that first "positive".
I also get super sad when I see old people by themselves. I think, that will be Kenzie one day. She will be a little old woman. And I won't be there. No one will be there. I hope she has someone to take good care of her and listen to her. [I'm crying right now...ugh.....].
So I think now I'm officially a lunatic. I dwell too much on what might happen [and mostly the sad things] rather than seeing a bright future. I just want my babies to be my babies forever. I want to freeze time and stay this way. My children are my world. Without them I have nothing.
ok...I'm done with my crazy ranting..