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June 28, 2011

Worthless.

Is it horrible that, as a stay at home mother, I feel worthless? 

I feel that even though I clean, do laundry, cook, give baths, etc, I'm not contributing to anything. Even if it makes more sense financially for me to stay home while I go to school, I still feel like in everyone else's eyes, I'm not good enough. Or I'm lazy for not working. 
Well, if I could find a FULL TIME job that didn't only pay for daycare, then I would be jumping right on that. Believe me. But for now, until I get my career, I'm going to be a SAHM. Even if that means we can't have much or do much of anything. Even if that makes me feel like I'm a worn out old maid. 
And it's not my kids. They aren't the problem. I love them more than the air I breathe. It's just the feeling of un-accomplishment.

I feel like an outsider to the world. I feel like I'm not doing what's best for my family, even though it is. I feel worthless. There's no other word to put it.

So for you SAHM's out there, what do you do for yourself to make you feel better? What do you do to feel like your being a SAHM means something?

*sigh* Maybe it's just me.

3 comments:

jess said...

I was a sahm for two years while I finished school. I miss it dearly. You'll pocket money out of your financial aid with school that will help. Cherish it while you can....most women who u think "look down" on u really Miss being stay at home mom's!

Lauren@Tennessee Honey said...

Oh, I know I'm going to miss it. And I'm going to cry when I have to put them in daycare (if I have to). I don't hate being a sahm. I just don't feel appreciated or worth anything most of the time:/

Heather said...

Hey girl. I know exactly how you feel. Each child is a full time job, so technically you have 2 of those already...and i have 3, lol. then there's the upkeep of the house. you have a million jobs with those kids. you play nurse, therapist...there's a BUNCH. and then you take care of your hubby's needs. it's not easy being a stay at home mom by any means! i've stayed at home for almost 5 years now. i've thought about getting a job but i just can't stand the thought of putting my kids in day care...mainly Maggie. I mean, Carson can talk and tell me what he did and what happened that day. Maggie can't do that. That's why I am going to try to do this Maggie Shea Creations stuff. Right now I am just making hair bows but plan on expanding big time. I dont know how to sew and I don't plan to so making clothing is OUT. lol. Keep your head up.